How Much Family Support Should You Expect?Getting fired or laid off these days is becoming a way of life for many. But what happens to the family support and home life atmosphere after a major loss? Shock. Anger. Grief. For many, losing a job is akin to death . . . especially tragic for someone who has devoted their life to an organization and risen through the ranks to a management position only to be suddenly cast off like unwanted trash. To also find that you don't have the kind of family support you expect can add to the problems. In all it is the sudden onset of uncertainty and the shame many people feel over being fired that can be devastating. But you must understand that spouses feel the emotional impact as well. It’s important to understand that coping with loss often changes the dynamics of the family relationship and affects the family support mindset. If you’re in this position, a quick look around tells you that tens of thousands of people just like you are finding themselves out of a job as well. A lot of good, qualified people around the world are in the same position you are. Call it the luck of the draw, global economics, Wall Street greed, poor management decisions or simply changing consumer attitudes. It won’t be easy, but most people will get through it. Some will come out better than before. Facing up to the new realities will help. Was Your Last Job Really A “Career Fantasy?”
The reality is that corporations aren’t people and if you had your hopes and dreams mixed up with the corporate image of your employer, it was a fantasy. Idealistic, perhaps . . . but not a realistic strategy. So, when you are able to emerge from the grieving period (the time varies from one individual to another) and you decide to face reality and strike out in a new direction, what is the view of your family and friends? Are they scornful, resentful, sympathetic or genuinely supportive and helpful? A lot about how they react to your new circumstances can be traced back to your communication during the good times. Have you shared all of the challenges of the job with them or have you glossed over the difficult issues and your fears? If you saw this setback coming, did you prepare them for the possibility? Or, did you gloss over the challenges on the hope that they would disappear? The more they are caught off guard by the change, the less realistic it will be for you to expect family support. Most Families Are Only Able To Provide Limited Support.The reality is that not all spouses or family members are able to be supportive in the way you’re going to need in conducting your Executive Job Search. That doesn’t mean they are callous or selfish. Many people just aren’t equipped to provide the kind of help and support you are likely to need at this particular juncture.In fact, family members often need outside moral and emotional support themselves. The fact of the matter is that probably less than 20% of family members or friends are really capable of filling this vital support role and you should consider looking elsewhere to build a solid Team . . . a support group. Change Is The Name Of The Game In Today’s Economic World.People who have lived together in marriage or relationship for a number of years usually have come to fill specific roles and to expect certain things from one another. Financial support and job security are often among the presumptions of permanence that, when disrupted, can shake the foundations of a relationship and present understandable obstacles to family support.Certainly, if you are single, you have a different challenge in building a Support Group than if you are the husband and traditional breadwinner in a family with children to support. Don’t Ignore The Issues. Determine What Kind of Support You Need And Get It.In the latter case, you may have extended family to call upon or built-in support through your church or other community organizations. But, the reality is still a 24-hour day and the sudden affinity for household chores, gardening and fix-it projects can become something of an escape from reality that does not go unnoticed by your spouse. So, what is the answer here?There is, of course, no single answer for everyone. But dealing with your feelings honestly is a necessary first step. One possible solution with a friend or spouse is to approach the Executive Job Search preparation and Personal Marketing Plan process as a team. It’s not easy to take on new roles in a relationship, but many executives know only too well how important it is to have a smart, dedicated assistant to “manage” them and keep them focused and on track. Maybe it’s a teenage son or daughter . . . great training for the world they will be entering all too soon. Giving everyone something imnportant to do not only garners family support, it helps you build the home team . . . good practice for rebuilding your self confidence as well as having a positive impact on relationships. The point here is that this kind of challenge isn’t one most people are equipped to face alone. You’ll be better off once you accept this fact . . . and accept help. Some of the best practical help will come from other executives in transition who, like yourself, are actively involved in their own job search process. For emotional support, a church group or professional counseling may be in order. The Successful Executive Job Search Is A Process. It’s Up To You To Make It Work.Wherever it exists, help is an absolutely necessary component in the success of an Executive Job Search. Peer group and, where possible (and appropriate), family support can make all the difference: from rebuilding confidence through diligently assembling a solid Accomplishments Library, to rehearsing 30-Second Commercials, conducting Employer Research to role-playing in preparing for Executive Job Interviews and executing a Personal Marketing Plan.Every Step In The Process Is Important. Teamwork Will Make It Easier.All these steps are necessary and made easier when approached as a team. If you can engage your family to help in any way the process, the road will be a bit less difficult. But, you will make more progress, more quickly and more easily if you can link up with others in the same position you are in order to help and encourage each other. Think of it as an "extended family support" activity.This Program Is Specifically Designed For The True Executive.Once you realize that there are no easy answers or magic solutions, the difficult or even the seemingly insurmountable tasks become easier for you . . . at least if you are a true executive. And there’s a lot to the saying that “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” This is one of those times of great challenge when you find out just how tough you and your family are.Don't place unrealistic expectations on your family support. Accept it for what it is and find whatever you need from other sources. Hopefully, the tools we're providing here will shed some serious light on the path you need to follow. Return from Family Support to Overcoming Job Search Challenges. Return from Family Support to Job Search Training home page. |
